Embracing My Truth: Understanding My Discomfort and Disgust Around Females

Oya Obinidodo 
©2025. Oya Obinidodo. All rights reserved.

As a heterosexual single woman, I often find myself grappling with a feeling that many may find unusual or even difficult to understand: I don't feel comfortable having women in my life, whether as friends or family. This sentiment isn't rooted in jealousy or competition, but simply in a fundamental discomfort that I struggle to articulate. 

A Unique Perspective

In a world that often encourages female camaraderie, my feelings may seem out of place. Society teaches people about the power of female friendships—how they can uplift and support one another. Yet for me, these connections have been characterized more by discomfort and extreme disgust than friendship. It’s not that I harbor any ill will toward women; rather, I find myself feeling a sense of unease and disgust in typical female dynamics.

The Complexity of Female Relationships

It's easy to label feelings like mine as misguided or even a form of internalized misogyny. However, it's essential to recognize that everyone’s experiences shape their perspectives. My history might not resonate with traditional patterns of female relationships, leading to an outlook that feels authentic to me, albeit frustrating.

Throughout my life, I have often felt misunderstood by women. The pressure for women to connect on a deep emotional level sometimes overwhelms me. While some women thrive in these environments, I often feel out of place, and grossed out, leading to a sense of distaste rather than peace.

Breaking Down My Discomfort

I think my discomfort stems from several aspects:

1. Sociocultural Expectations: Society often expects women to bond over shared experiences. When I don’t feel those connections, it can lead to feelings of isolation or even disgust, as I grapple with the mismatch between expectation and reality.

2. Personal History: Every individual’s relationships are influenced by past experiences. My interactions with women throughout my life have not fostered the kind of positive camaraderie that many describe. The hurt or betrayal I've felt only reinforces my desire to keep my distance. 

Most of the women I've met in my past were either downlow lesbians, compulsive liars, child molesters, were filled with envy and jealousy, were kleptomaniacs, extremely competitive, or all of those combined. Those kind of women permanently put a bad taste in my mouth. They didn't carry themselves the way I personally believed that women should act towards one another. I finally realized that I don't have anything in common with other women, which led me to ban them from my life forever.

3. Communication Styles: I often find that the ways in which women express themselves emotionally or socially do not align with my own. This disconnect can lead to misunderstandings and discomfort.

Finding My Own Path

Acknowledging my feelings is the first step toward self-acceptance. Instead of forcing connections that feel uncomfortable and unnatural, I've embraced my solitude, instead.

It’s essential for everyone to listen to their own feelings and create relationships that feel right for them. While I understand that my viewpoint may not be widely accepted, it is true to my experience.

Conclusion

In a world that seeks to define relationships in specific terms, I choose to navigate my own path, even if it diverges from the norm. My discomfort doesn't define my worth or my ability to relate to others; it simply showcases the complexity of human interaction. Every person deserves to forge connections that resonate with them, and for me, that knowledge is liberating. 

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