Staying True to Yourself in Intimate Relationships

Me.
©2025. Oya Obinidodo. All rights reserved.

In a world where relationships often redefine identity, it’s crucial to discuss the importance of maintaining your individuality. It's not uncommon for people to adapt their behavior or even their preferences when they enter a relationship. However, I deeply believe that staying true to who you are is vital—especially for women.

When some women find a man, their demeanor can suddenly shift. They may change their style, influence their choices, or even feel a sense of jealousy towards others who are single. But let me be clear: that’s just not me. In my relationships, I refuse to offer up my identity at the altar of love. 

For one, I’ve always maintained my personal style and tastes, regardless of the relationship I am in. Changing who I am to fit someone else's expectations is not an option. I won't participate in activities that make me uncomfortable, and that includes compromising my values or engaging in things simply because a partner is interested in them. 

For instance, having gay threesomes have never been appealing to me, and I won’t bend my boundaries for anyone. Some women get real funky and gay when they get a man, but not me. If a man wants me to have a threesome, I cut them off quickly. I won't bend my rules for anyone. If he doesn't like the clothes I wear, or the way I style my hair, or my natural fingernails, he can find another woman. I won't change my style, I won't change my appearance, or lower my standards for any man on earth. It's not worth it. If a man that I'm in a relationship with has fantasies or fetishes that they want me to fulfill that I don't agree with, they'll just have to find another woman to do it. End of story. 

Moreover, I believe in celebrating, not resenting, other women. Jealousy is a toxic emotion, and the last thing I want is to feel envious of those who are single, thriving, and enjoying their own journey. Each person's path is unique, which should be recognized and respected rather than compared.

Ultimately, individuality should not be sacrificed for the sake of being in a relationship. Love should enhance your life, not reshape it. So, let’s make a pact to stay authentic and embrace who you are—unapologetically and fiercely. Because no one is worth losing yourself over, and staying true to yourself is the most empowering choice you can make. 

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