In the Throes of Solitude: Finding Strength in Seclusion



Living a life with countless friendships, party invites and joyful connections is the typical Hollywood depiction of a 'happy life'. I always thought I wanted that, but, that hasn’t been my journey. As a life-long target of bullying, it didn't take me long to discover that 'happy' isn't a one-size-fits-all scenario.

For a long time, I had thought it necessary to be a social butterfly, the life of the party, a beacon for those seeking to reach out. However, each interaction, every new connection only revealed a distressing reality: the omnipresence of bullying. Often this led to feelings of constant discomfort, self-doubt and ultimately, hopelessness. With every painful word hurled my way, every callous smirk, each ominous threat, the concept of reaching out to others began to change from an appealing notion to a terrifying gamble. Where many see faces brimming with possibilities of friendships, I could only discern ugly masks of malice, their intentions hidden behind sweet smiles and reassuring words. I became my own refuge, and my isolation grew from being a compulsion to my self-preserving salvation.  

I am not writing this to feed any sort of victim narrative. No, the purpose of my tale is far more personal. My path into solitude has led me to understanding. Understanding of the strength within myself. A silent defiance that has birthed resilience. No longer a victim, I’ve evolved into a survivor.   

A secret solidarity that grows within me, cradling my psyche like a warm cup of hot cocoa on a cold night. It sings a hymn of calm and peace, its soothing melody ebbing away at the layers of anxiety wrapped around my soul. Seclusion for me has been about rediscovery, a life within the tranquility of my personal realm. Instead of looking at numerous ‘ugly twisted faces’ threatening to shatter my tranquillity, I've opted to mirror inwards, and with time, I have started finding comfort within this isolation. In the safe haven of solitude, life no longer seems a dread-filled nightmare. The shackles of society's unsolicited opinions, unwelcome advices and painful interactions melt away. This is a chance for growth and acceptance in a landscape barren of all that once plagued me.  

I forge my own paths in this game of life. My choice, while unconventional, ensures my survival, fosters my growth, and breeds strength. Embracing my seclusion has transformed it from an agonising reality into a comforting ally, allowing me the peace to breathe, grow, and yes, even thrive. In the throes of solitude, I've finally found the strength that had long eluded me. Amidst the hushed whispers of my silent world, I am stronger, sturdier, more grounded than ever before. I might not have friends knocking on my door, but I’ve found the strength within to be my own ally, and honestly, that's more than enough for me.