Navigating Modern Dating: Beyond the Physical
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| Me taking a selfie ©2025. Oya Obinidodo. All rights reserved. |
Having spent a week exploring Match.com, I’ve found myself reflecting on the nature of dating in the digital age. While I initially signed up with the hope of finding a meaningful connection, I quickly discovered a trend that has raised some concerns: many of the men I’ve interacted with seem to be primarily interested in sex.
First, let me say—there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel desired. It’s a natural part of being human, and feeling wanted can be a huge confidence booster. However, I believe that a genuine relationship needs to rest on more than just a physical connection, especially when it comes to first dates. There’s a huge world of conversation, chemistry, and emotional intimacy to explore before jumping into bed with someone.
What I think is missing, and what I hope to emphasize through this journey, is depth. Emotional connection, mutual interests, shared values—these are the building blocks of a lasting relationship. For me, being on a dating site shouldn't entail feeling pressured to rush into something physical. I want to take the time to get to know someone, understand their passions and beliefs, and see if having them in my life aligns in ways beyond just physical attraction and sex.
It's important to articulate what you want upfront. I’m not here to promote promiscuity; I want to foster connections that have the potential for longevity and depth. I long for conversation, sharing stories and laughs rather than simply figuring out if the chemistry translates to the bedroom right away.
As I navigate through this landscape, I remind myself that it’s okay to have standards. Seeking a relationship that feels enriching and fulfilling is not only reasonable but essential for my happiness. If a match isn’t willing to invest in a more profound relationship, then perhaps it’s time to reconsider the connection.
In the end, dating should be by my terms, and I think it can be for anyone who feels the same way. So, if you find yourself on a platform that seems to prioritize the superficial over the significant, don’t be afraid to step back and recalibrate your desires. True love, after all, is about connection, not just physical chemistry.
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