Terror Firsthand #41: On To The Next

 ©Terror Firsthand is a fictional blog series that was created in 2024. It is for entertainment purposes only, and I wrote it from the top of my head. Photos are reenactments and dramatization. The following story is for mature audiences only. Please, do not try any thing dangerous at home. 

Warning: extreme terror

Terror Firsthand: On To The Next 

Right before the performance was about to start, I saw GD7Star's baby mama. She was looking stinky as hell. She had on nail polish and was looking gay as fu*k. She had another chick with her. Niggas like GD7Star thought she was all that. I really hated him. Like I wanted them both to die. I couldn't believe her funky ass came all the way to California to support his ass. Where the fuc* were their kids? She walked over to the section and sat down next to GD7Star. 

I got up from the table and walked out of the club and called a cab. No one came looking for me, I guess they assumed I'd be right back. I wanted to get out of that funky ass club. I hated GD7Star and his baby mother. They ruined the whole night. I did not want to see their funky asses in there. I also hated GD7Star for having a registered gun. He wasn't as gang as I thought. Real gang members don't have registered guns. He was able to walk right inside the lounge with it and everything. He had it on his waist the whole time and I was very intimidated by him. Plus, I didn't like the way his face looked. 

I ended up taking a cab back to my suite at the Pink Jewels Hotel. I know that GD6Star was going to be pissed at me for bailing out of the performance without saying anything. It was my way of breaking up with him. I was tired of his circle. They were too square and I felt like I didn't belong there and I felt like I didn't fit in. I was tired of riding GD6Star's d*ck all over LA, tired of his mother, and tired of his little wealth and his little entourage. I could've caught HIV. I didn't use condoms with GD6Star and I never tested him for HIV nor did I take PeP. I figured if I caught the monkey disease, then I'd find out in about three months. 

I stayed at the Pink Jewels all night with Big C. No one bothered to call me. The next morning, I fixed a cheese and spinach omelet with orange juice and then checked out of the hotel. I drove towards Omaha Nebraska and checked in at another Blue Roof Motel. It was all I could afford. I didn't even have $1,000 to my name anymore. I was tired of being mistreated, underpaid, undervalued, unloved, and hated. 

I was tired of being human trafficked and forced to sell p*ssy. I hated selling my body. All women don't have to go through that. Some of them are spoiled and they are pampered and can get anything they want from a man or their family. I'm not one of those types. I've never been spoiled. I've never been given anything without having to give something in return. 

I felt bullied and abused. GD7Star treated his baby mother like a queen and she never had to sell her body or get beat up. She never went to jail and never grew up poor. I hated her. She was an eyesore to me. All those other women in Los Angeles were about as square and fake as her too. Women all over America are stinky towards to me. It's something I have to live with everyday. 

I sat inside of the Blue Roof all day trying to plan my next move. I called several human trafficking hotlines across the country to see if I could get housed inside of a shelter, but I couldn't find a bed. I tried getting into a public housing apartment in Actionville Florida, but I didn't have enough money to get there in time. I was doomed. I was destined for failure. I was just another waste of space to the world. 

I eventually cut on the TV and watched the episode of me on the Studio On Sixth back in California. There are about 10 thousand views on there and a bunch of nasty comments about me. People were saying that I'm a "AIDS infested crack whore" and a "dirty VA retard". I commented on the post and told them to get the f*ck off of my pu**y and mind their business.

After that, I started crying because I had broken up with GD6Star, and bailed out on the performance. I sat in the room crying all day and praying that I didn't catch the monkey disease. I was so stressed out, that I didn't even eat anything. I didn't know where my next dollar would come from. I should've went back to Beverly Hills and panhandled some more, but I was too ready to get out of Cali. I didn't want to panhandle in Omaha. It didn't feel safe enough. They definitely weren't as wealthy as the people in Beverly Hills California. 

The next day, I checked out of the Blue Roof and started sleeping in my car. I slept behind abandoned buildings and in remote, secluded areas. I couldn't afford the room anymore, and I had no where else to go. I wanted to k*ll myself, but I wasn't even smart enough to do that. 

I slept in my car for several weeks. Big Ski, Leroy, and GD6Star did not try to contact me. I then reached out to every single podcast I had ever done, and asked them to remove my interview. I contacted Bear Music Podcast, Gayboy City, Studio On Sixth, and Get On Yo Knees. I didn't want to be on anymore podcasts. 

I didn't hear back from any of them except Studio On Sixth. They said that it cost them money to edit me out of the clips and reupload the video. I told them that I don't have any money to give them. Then they said that they would do it this one time, and that I better not reach out to them anymore. They said that I was banned from the platform forever because I changed my mind about being on there. I didn't care if I was banned from the stank ass podcast. I just wanted to be free from their kind. 

The next day, I went back on Studio On Sixth website and saw that the video had been edited without me in it. I had went through the same thing with Rappers On Point a long time ago. I was hoping that I would hear by from the other three studios. I hated those people. They made me feel really bad about myself. 

I looked at a news report in Los Angeles later that night. I saw that Big Ski and Leroy had been killed at the same Blue Luxe Lounge nightclub that I was supposed to perform at that day. The reporter didn't mention the motive for the shooting and the person who shot them was GD7Star. GD7Star was arrested and taken to the LA County Jail without bond. 

After I watched that, I went on GD6Star's Instagram page and I saw him on there with GD7Star's baby mother, acting like a couple. In one picture, GD6Star took a picture with GD7star's baby mother and GD7star's kids like they were a family. They were all wearing matching colors. In another picture, the couple was kissing and the caption read,

Mine forever.

Sleeping in car in Nebraska 

It was crazy. Things change so quickly in the streets. That's why I always have to watch my back. I spent the next few weeks riding around Nebraska sleeping in my car and living on the streets. I was extremely depressed and I felt abandoned. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it. The old video of me getting booed in Alabama was still floating around too. I'm glad I didn't perform at Blue Luxe Lounge that night. It really wasn't for me.