Eleven Years on the Streets: A Story of Despair and Hope

Victimized woman sleeping in car near a shady truck stop at night 

I'm Oya Obinidodo, and for the past eleven years, I've been homeless. The shame, the constant fear, the gnawing despair – it's a heavy burden to carry. To admit it publicly, to share my story, is terrifying, but I believe it's necessary. My hope is that by sharing my experience, I can shed light on the systemic issues contributing to homelessness and perhaps inspire some compassion and understanding.

The truth is, I feel like I’m dying. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I'm 36 now, and the prospect of reaching 50 feels impossible. My mental health has deteriorated significantly over the years. The constant stress, the lack of safety, the absence of basic necessities – it's a relentless assault on my well-being. I've accepted, perhaps morbidly, that I only have 15 years left.

For the first seven years of my homelessness, I relied on shelters. But the conditions were unbearable. The unsanitary living spaces, the violence, the lack of privacy – it felt far more dangerous than the streets. The constant fear of theft and assault was ever-present. For the past four years, I’ve avoided shelters completely. I've found myself navigating a precarious existence, sleeping in various public places, always looking over my shoulder, always anticipating the next threat.

An overcrowded, busy homeless shelter 

My experience isn't unique. Many homeless individuals avoid shelters due to safety concerns, lack of privacy, and the general unsanitary conditions. It’s a vicious cycle. The lack of safe and supportive housing forces people onto the streets, where they become vulnerable to exploitation, violence, and further mental health deterioration. The irony is not lost on me; the places intended to provide safety often become places of greater danger.

A black gay suburban neighborhood not suitable for a single heterosexual woman 

The challenges are multifaceted. There's the constant struggle for food and shelter, the lack of access to healthcare and mental health services, and the pervasive stigma associated with homelessness. The judgmental stares, the assumptions, the dehumanizing treatment – it all adds to the burden. People often assume homelessness is a result of poor choices or laziness, but that couldn’t be further from the truth in my case. My struggles began with a series of unfortunate events – job loss, domestic violence, and a subsequent mental health crisis. These events spiraled into a situation that seemed impossible to escape.

Unsafe woman camping in remote area 

I’ve tried to access services, but the system is often overwhelming and difficult to navigate. The bureaucracy, the waiting lists, the requirements – it can feel impossible to get the help you need when you're already struggling to survive. I've been to countless appointments, filled out endless forms, but progress has been slow and frustrating. The feeling of hopelessness is a constant companion.

But despite the overwhelming despair, a tiny spark of hope remains. I'm sharing my story because I want to raise awareness, to challenge the stereotypes, and to advocate for systemic change. Society needs more affordable housing, better access to mental health services, and a more compassionate and supportive approach to homelessness. People need to treat each other with kindness, understanding, and respect. 

I’m not sure what the future holds, but I’m clinging to the hope that things will improve. I'm fighting to reclaim my life, to find a place of safety and stability. And I believe that with the right support and understanding, it's possible to overcome the seemingly insurmountable challenges of homelessness. 

FAQ

Q: What specifically made you avoid homeless shelters for the past four years?

A: The unsanitary conditions, the lack of safety (both from violence and theft), and the lack of privacy were overwhelming. The shelters felt more dangerous than the streets.

Q: What kind of support do you need most right now?

A: Access to affordable housing and consistent mental health care are my biggest priorities. Finding a safe and stable place to live would be life-changing.

Q: What can people do to help individuals experiencing homelessness?

A: Donate to organizations that support the homeless, volunteer your time at a local shelter, advocate for policies that address the root causes of homelessness, and most importantly, treat people experiencing homelessness with dignity and respect. A simple act of kindness can go a long way.

Q: What are your hopes for the future?

A: My hope is to find stable housing, receive the mental health support I need, and eventually rebuild my life. I want to contribute positively to society and prove that recovery is possible.

Q: Are you seeking financial assistance?

A: While financial assistance would be helpful, my biggest needs are safe housing and consistent access to mental health services. Donations to organizations that provide these services would be the most impactful.