Major Attractions and Major Depression: Gays and Bullies Make Every Outing Wack and Uninviting

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I know I mentioned in my song 'Coyotes Howling' that "these rap niggas getting old" and unfortunately, I'm getting old myself. After thinking long and hard, I doubt it's boredom. I think it has progressed to anhedonia. I'm just learning about what anhedonia is. According to my research, it is a symptom of major depressive disorder. Anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure. I never even heard of the word until today.

I don't feel pleasure and nothing excites me. I've seen everything there is to see and I don't think there's anything left. I've been to the zoo, the dog parks, the ghetto, the cemeteries, the religious buildings, the courthouses, wild bachelor parties, baseball games, stage plays, the nightclubs, the circuses and ice shows, the local bars, the sail boat and party boat cruises, the restaurants, the colleges, the botanical gardens, the historical museums, the shopping attractions, the recording studios, the live music venues and rap concerts, the massage parlor, the mountains, the cave tours, the AA meetings, the trains, the buses, a couple of campsites, the ghost tours, the beach oceanfront strolls, the hotels, the animal farms, the hiking trails, the wildlife refuge tours, the state forest, the bowling alleys, the skating rink, the festivals, and theme parks. 

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All of those things have lost its thrill. I've never been to a ski resort, an opera, a marathon, a horse back riding ranch, or a local wine tasting - but that doesn't sound the least bit fun to me, and of course, I've never been to a gay pride event because well- you guessed it- I'm not gay. 

Going to an attraction these days feels more like a dread than a fun time. All I can think of, is how bad I'm going to be treated, the overcrowding, and how big of a waste of money everything is. Sometimes I think of the violence, incest, disease spreads, and death that takes place in these different social environments some times. I mean there's nothing that I want to see in person that I can't get a glimpse of on YouTube. 

How do I get over this lack of pleasure? I don't know. Everywhere I go I see something that I don't like or agree with, I get bullied by the gayest, nosiest most nasty, filthy, packs of incestuous gay bullies walking the planet, or I end up having a basic experience with no pizazz, luxury, or glamour whatsoever. I can be on these outings all by myself minding my business hoping to enjoy myself, and still get bullied by the narcissistic, close-knit, racist, hillbilly, smelly, orgy-looking type people with "that kind of face".

It's filthy out here. Those packs of funky, bitter, tricked out, freaked out, gay predators hate me with a passion. I didn't do anything to their kind. I don't even know any of them. They are just gay and hateful that way. I can't change them. Like I said hundreds of times, I don't want them laying their sickening eyes on me. I want them to look the other way and mind their business. They're so gay, racist, unnatural, and bitter towards me, that I'm scared they might even shoot me with a firearm if they set their nosey eyes on me. I don't want to be included with their kind. Some of them are sickening sexual predators that want to rape and molest me because they know that no one will believe that they are trying to do that to me. The sadistic sexual predators start calling me unsanitary names because I won't let them see me. Their aura is extremely fatal and gay, and has been for many years.

These types of gross narcissistic predators, gross couples, gross families, gross gangs, gross pairs, and extremely gross bullies are always infesting these attractions like they run the place. They act like I can't go without their permission. They inbreed extremely bad and they think I'm a slow, illiterate person, and they want to embarrass me and publicly humiliate me. They're the worse kind of predators I've seen in all my years on earth. I don't want to be anywhere where I'm not welcomed.

Of course hiking, camping, and trekking has been my most recent favorite thing to do. I'm obssesed with the outdoors, but even that hurts. I can't help but worry about all the outdoors dangers and all the evil gays lurking. I don't want to be one of those people that died doing what they loved to do. I rather die another way. Even if I died In the wilderness, I doubt if the world is going to see it as a respectable way for me to die as a black woman. These dirty people have been kicking me down my whole life. 

Warning/Disclaimer: Do not try this at home.

I am not affiliated with anyone. Especially women and transgenders. DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN YOUR CIRCLE. I'M NOT GAY IN THE PRESENT AND I WASN'T GAY IN THE PAST. I'm NOT a transvestite, a bi sexual or a lesbian. I don't inbreed and I don't hang with incestuous people nor do I look at their incestuous faces or listen to their incestuous voices and I don't take their incestuous advice. 

Also, be aware that I'm not a prostitute, so please don't think I want your bodies or your money because I don't. 

If any woman or transgender is pretending to hang around me, they are a fraud. I don't hang around anyone, and I do not owe anyone anything. 

Do not try this at home. Be yourself. I'm not asking that you isolate yourself from your friends or family, I'm only telling you not to include me as your friend or family because I am not. It's important that you readers and listeners know that. 

I am not a playful person. Everything I write is non fiction. If I say I'm not affiliated with anyone then I am not lying. If I say I'm not anyone's friend or family then I am NOT lying. If I say I'm NOT gay, then I am not lying. 

It's okay to enjoy my content, but please keep a safe distance away from me. I'm not interested in being friends or family with anyone. I put this info out for it to be read and understood from a distance, that is all.