Terror Firsthand #42: From Bad To Worse

 ©Terror Firsthand is a fictional blog series that was created in 2024. It is for entertainment purposes only, and I wrote it from the top of my head. Photos are reenactments and dramatization. The following story is for mature audiences only. Please, do not try any thing dangerous at home. 

Warning: extreme terror

Terror Firsthand: From Bad To Worse 

Later that night, I received a email from Bear Music Podcast saying that they would take down my episode. I also received a email from Gayboy City and they said that they wouldn't take anything down. I still didn't hear back from Get On Yo Knees. I started missing GD6Star but he had moved on with the stinky, bougie, square ass, opp b*tch and there was nothing I could do to fix it. None of the other GD's tried to hit me up. I thought I was in their gang. I thought they would protect me and make sure I was safe and didn't want for anything. I was wrong. 

I slept in my car all night. The next day I checked in at a campground. It was nothing like the Golden Tree. I grilled hotdogs and hamburgers for me and Big C. I ate the food plain. I hated ketchup and mustard on hotdogs and burgers. 

The campground was fairly empty, and I had a lot of peace and quiet. After I grilled, I went hiking for 3 miles and then took a shower and relaxed inside of my tent. I started writing a Terror Firsthand story about what happened in California and then at night, I fixed s'mores under the moonlight. The atmosphere was cozy and relaxing. 

By now, I had been living on the streets of Nebraska for almost 2 months. No one bothered to call me or check up on me. It's like I was being completely neglected. I looked at my music royalties account and I still did not see a deposit for the Pimping Bacc In Style song. I was so upset and hurt at the same time. I was tired of living in poverty.

I started looking for gigs on a site called CleanMyHouse.Com. I responded to an ad that a man named Ernesto Guerrero had posted. I called him and he told me to meet him the next day at noon. He told me I could bring Big C and put him inside of a crate while I clean his whole house for $300. He had two bedrooms and 1 bath. I stopped at the store and invested in $20 worth of cleaning supplies. It was all I could afford.

The next day, I arrived at Ernesto's flat. It was extremely messy inside.

"Hi, I'm Bleu Diamond, nice to meet you." I said. 

"Nice to meet you too. Do you have your own supplies?" He asked.

"Yes I do, but if you have some that would be great!" I said, while smiling. I was ready to clean his house and get the fuc* out of there. 

"Come with me." He said. 

Then he walked me into a supply room and there were a lot of cleaning supplies in there, including a mop, sponges, gloves, bleach, sanitizing spray and more. 

"Thank you." I said.

"You're welcome. How long do you think it's going to take?" He asked.

"Have you ever hired a maid before?" I asked.

"No." He replied.

"It's probably going to take me about three hours." I replied.

"Okay." He said. 

While I was at his house, someone started trolling me and I knew they were setting me up to look like I was trolling them. They were sending me hate mail back to back from different email addresses with my name in them.

The message were saying things like:

You'll never be able to keep a man...

And 

You'll never be able to get away from me!

"Oh f*ck. Not again...." I Said out loud. Someone was hating on me and out to get me. I had a lot of enemies and no friends, so I had no idea who the trolls were. 

In Nebraska cleaning a filthy house

I didn't respond to any of the hate mail, I just kept on cleaning Ernesto's house. After about two hours, he came in the bedroom and said, 

"What are you doing! Don't put that in there!" While I was putting trash inside of a trash bag. Then he rushed over to get the trash out. 

"I'm sorry. I thought it was trash." I said.

"I needed that piece of paper!" He said, nastily. How was I supposed to know?

Then I started vacuuming the floor and he came in and said,

"Cut that thing off! You're making too much noise!" 

"Well how am I supposed to clean the floor!?" I yelled. 

"Use a broom!" He said, while he was on the phone talking to someone. He was rude and nasty as hell.

"She sucks! She's doing a horrible job!" He said to the person on the phone. 

I was pissed. I didn't want to clean anymore. I only had 1 more bedroom and the kitchen left to go.

"Ernesto it's time for me to leave. You're being rude. Can you pay me for the work that I've already done?" I asked.

Then he reached into his pocket and handed me $40.

"Oh hell nah! You owe me at least $250! I did a lot of work!" I screamed. 

"I'm not giving you $250! You need to clean better than that if you want $250!" He said. Then his wife came in the house and started fussing.

"Ernesto? Who is this cleaning lady! I didn't tell you to hire anyone! What the f*ck is she doing here?!" She screamed.

"Get out!" His wife yelled at me.

"I'm not leaving until your husband gives me $210!" I said.

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that! I'm calling the cops!" His wife said, and started calling the police. 

I snatched her purse off of her shoulders and Ernesto grabbed it back. I grabbed a gold necklace that was laying on the dresser and a watch. Ernesto tried to get the gold jewelry out of my hand but I held onto it really tight. 

"I'm not giving it back!" I yelled. I was laying on the floor and he was on top of me.

"Let me go so I can get my dog and leave!" I said.

"Just let her go." Said his wife. "I want her black ass out of my house right now!" 

I then got my dog out of the crate and ran out of the house. The haters kept trolling me all day long. After I left, I went to the pawn shop to see what I could get for the jewelry. They didn't give me a dime and said that the jewelry was fake. I was pissed. I had did so much hard work and Ernesto was a fraud that didn't hold up to his end of the bargain. What the f*ck was I supposed to do with $40? That's only enough to put gas in my fu*king car! 

I filled up the tank and then I left Nebraska. I headed towards Milwaukee again. I wanted to start over. Big Ski wasn't there. He was deceased. The drive was only 7 hours. After I got there, I stood on the corner and begged for money for about 8 hours. I made about $60. That still wasn't enough for me to stay safe. 

I ended up sleeping in my car behind an abandoned building on the first night. I really wanted someone to have pity for me. I really wanted someone to have a heart. I really wanted to get off of the streets and I wanted the trolls to leave me alone. I checked to see how many views I had on the Terror Firsthand story about California, and I had zero views. No one wanted to know. No one cared. I started crying and then I eventually fell asleep. 

The next day, I went back to the same block to panhandle. There were more police out there that time, and they were riding past me every few minutes. I knew I wasn't going to be able to make anything else. I left that block and drove to a hotel parking lot and sat there. 

I felt sick to my stomach. I started throwing up all over the place. I couldn't eat all day. I was extremely sickened by everything that I had been forced to go through against my will. I wanted a better life, but there was no god to give me one. The only thing I had going for me was death. I decided that I would just have to take one day at a time, until I finally pass away forever. 

In Milwaukee being bullied 

While I was in the hotel parking lot sitting outside, a troll sent me a link. I clicked on the link and it was a link to a gay escort ad. It was a picture of me on there and it said that I was a tranny named Bleu Diamond. It was sickening. There was also a picture of someone's d*ck in the ad. In the ad it said that I had a big, fat, nine inch cock and that I wanted men only. It also said that I would have sex bare and have oral and anal sex for $100 extra. I was being set up to look like a man. I contacted the website, XxxAzzNTits.Net to have the ad flagged for removal. 

It was the same site Hector posted me on. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know who posted the fake ad. I tried to trace back the number that sent the link but of course, the phone number was fake too. I knew I needed that fake ad to go away, and that I wasn't safe. I needed more protection, and I didn't have any. 

I eventually started suffering from body dysmorphia. I was being bullied so bad, that my face felt like it had a beard and my eyebrow felt like it had a piercing, neither of which I had ever had. My body started feeling more molested and, I started getting trolled more often. I spent the next few days in Milwaukee, sleeping in my car in the hotel parking lot. The fake transgender sex ad with my picture in it was still there, and my face and body felt more violated than ever. I sat in the hotel parking lot, planning my next move very carefully.