Terror Firsthand #83: The Colorado Wilderness

 ©Terror Firsthand is a fictional blog series that was created in 2024. It is for entertainment purposes only, and I wrote it from the top of my head. Photos are reenactments and dramatization. The following story is for mature audiences only. Please, do not try anything dangerous at home. 

Warning: extreme terror

Terror Firsthand: The Colorado Wilderness

The Bison in Colorado 

The next day, I realized that it was time to get the fu*k out of Fairfax. I decided to go to Denver Colorado and hide out over there in the Colorado wilderness. I put all of my fears aside and went on the journey. After I got there, it was the same ol tent lifestyle. I got a chance to see some wild bison along the way. I wanted to go bull riding, but I knew I had to focus on other things. I went to a cannabis dispensary soon I got there and stopped by a seafood restaurant to buy some fried popcorn shrimp and plain crispy crinkle french fries with salt. I drank water with the meal instead of buying a drink.

While I was in Denver, I realized that I wanted to create an animated cartoon about black bears. I've always liked watching cartoon bears as a child. I used to watch The Berestain Bears, The Care Bears, and Winnie The Pooh. I liked Winnie The Pooh so much that I even had the Winnie The Pooh Gameboy Color game. I had a Teddy Rupskin bear when I was a toddler and when I became an adult I had just a regular old teddy bear that I called Tuffy. I eventually gave Tuffy to a child and adopted a real dog instead. 

I messaged some of the animators that I saw online for a quote. The message read,

Hi, can you send me a quote for an hour long animated movie? I can provide the background music, the script, and the voiceovers. Can you create the characters for me and put them into motion for me so I can create this animated film? I have no knowledge about animation so I need your help.

The animation firm in New York City 

One animation company in New York City hit me back and said, 

$240,000 is your quote. We look forward to helping you with your next project. Feel free to contact us if you have any further questions. 

I didn't reply.

Another animator in Pakistan hit me back and said, 

$18,000 is what we charge. We are a team of four.

I'm sorry. I don't have that. I replied.

Then a third one hit me back and wrote,

Mam, Send me the script and the number of characters and their descriptions and I'll help you bring the story to life.

Then I replied,

My budget is under $500. What can you do for that?

The animation freelancer in Africa hit me back and said,

Oh that's very low. You'll probably only get the design of the characters and that's it. No animation or anything else for that price.

The freelancer in Nigeria 

I hit the Nigerian man back and said, 

Thank you for making me aware. 

Then he said,

No problem. For an hour long movie you're looking at a very, very, high budget compared to that. Good luck finding someone! 

After that, I realized that I couldn't afford to hire an animation expert. I decided to just take the budget money and buy a MacBook and create an animated  cartoon using an app like Adobe Animation VideoMaker or something - but not today. I decided to just go back to writing music. 

Geraldine Lassiter at The Gay Fantastic Lash Bar in Miami Florida filming a celebrity vlog

I eventually cut the TV on and found out that Geraldine Lassiter blew up and turned into a multi millionaire overnight somehow. She became so rich, that she extended more The Gay Fantastic Lash Bars throughout the east coast including one in Brooklyn New York City, Philadelphia Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., and Trenton New Jersey. She even had the nerve to put one in Chesapeake Virginia and one in Hampton Virginia. Geraldine Lassiter sent Vannessa Gayberg's gay ass right back up there to work in there. I would not be able to watch all that because Geraldine's vlog was only based in Miami- unless she started filming everywhere, and that's exactly what she did. She started casting for episodes in Virginia and New York and the reality shows started there too. 

Now I became more worried about my boyfriend being stolen. He was too close to Pancho Gustavo and Vanessa Gayberg might get her nasty, bisexual, conceited ass on him one day. The dirty sleezy bi*ch might decide she wanna go back to d*ck or something. I didn't want to think too far into things. Maybe I was tripping. Maybe Vannessa Gayberg would be paying attention to someone else's man. She was a TV b*tch.

In Colorado at night drinking green tea 

Anyways, how Geraldine Lassiter became richer overnight was a mystery. Maybe she was selling women or something. It was none of my damn business. I sent Daddy Dollaz a message letting him know that I love him, right before drinking some green tea and then going to sleep.