Terror Firsthand #102: Watch Who You Lay With

  ©Terror Firsthand is a fictional blog series that was created in 2024. It is for entertainment purposes only, and I wrote it from the top of my head. Photos are reenactments and dramatization. The following story is for mature audiences only. Please, do not try anything dangerous at home.

Warning: extreme terror

Terror Firsthand: Watch Who You Lay With 

Reporter outside of Chicken -N- Stuff in Miami Florida 

I woke up the next day in pain. My eye was still black. I went back to the gas station for some more ice because the ice I was using had melted. I started watching the news.

"Chicken N Stuff has failed a health inspection and is temporarily shut down until further notice. During the inspection, multiple dead mice and several roaches were seen crawling around in the kitchen area. One employee was even caught digging up his nose, and then touching the chicken." The reporter stated.

"Yuck!" I yelled. That's very gross and disgusting!

"Chicken N Stuff restaurant has up to 45 days to clean the place up, before it is re- inspected." The reporter continued. 

After the news report went off, I changed the channel to The Crime Scene podcast with Joel Hughes. 

"So Big Fly, you moved out of Washington D.C. Is that true?" Asked Joel Hughes.

"Yes Joel, I moved to Virginia Beach." Replied Big Fly.

Virginia Beach didn't even seem like a place that a rapper like Big Fly would even wanna move to. People from D.C. usually love D.C. and never wanna leave. That was very strange, I thought. 

"So who do you live with in Virginia Beach and what do you do for a living? How can rapping pay your bills if you just got busted on Rappers On Point for having fake streams?" Questioned Joel.

"Well, I'm glad you asked me that Joel. I actually live with my father and stepmother and you're right, my money did fall off and I'm no longer the biggest rapper in D.C.- Slim Trell is." Said Big Fly.

"That's gotta be embarrassing. Slim Trell just won a BET award didn't he?" Asked Joel Hughes. 

Big Fly on The Crime Scene podcast channel with Joel Hughes 

"Yes my nigga. He did. It's unfortunate that I could not make it to that level. It is what it is nigga. My true fans will still listen to my music and I'm about to drop a new mixtape soon." Responded Big Fly.

"I heard you got into some beef with Chi Grizzly. Is that true?" Asked Joel Hughes.

"Yeah nigga, that lil dude started talking sh*t one day at the studio, but that was a long time ago. I haven't seen that opp since, and I hope it stays that way." Said Big Fly.

"What was the beef about anyway?" Asked Joel.

"Nigga called me a b*tch and a hoe out of the blue for no reason at all. I barely knew that nigga. I don't even know how I ended up in the studio at the same time as that nigga anyway." Replied Big Fly. "I told that nigga that he better stay the hell up out my f*cking way bro. He looked at me funny, lifted up his shirt to expose his blicky, and then walked out." 

"Oh okay. So tell me how you became a convicted felon Big Fly." Asked Joel Hughes. 

"Well I caught an arson charge when I was 12. I was charged as an adult but I went to a juvenile detention center for 5 years. I had set fire to this girl home after she rejected me. I was originally sentenced to 10 years but I only end up doing 5." Answered Big Fly.

"Really? That's crazy." Said Joel Hughes.

An outdated mugshot of Big Fly over 5 years old

"Then I caught another felony when I was 29 for using counterfeit money and fake checks. I used to deposit large checks that were like $20,000 or more into different bank accounts and take the money out. I used the money to buy fake streams and social media followers and then I took alot of easy ass hoes out on dates. I tricked a lot of thots into believing that I had a lot of money. I wore alot of fly clothes, jewelry, and shoes. I drove alot of nice cars. I brought some of them bags and clothes and even took them shopping. I was later caught by the FBI and arrested. I spent time in the penitentiary." Said Big Fly. 

"I see. So Big Fly, do you believe in God or did you turn Muslim while you were incarcerated for scamming?" Asked Joel Hughes.

"I don't wanna talk about that Joel." Replied Big Fly.

"I see. So your new baby mother Alexandria Skeeter left you. How does that feel. Are you dating anyone else?" Asked Joel.

"Yes. I'm dating a woman named Erica Skinner, but people call her E. Spinna." Said Big Fly. E. Spinna was an ugly name to me.

"That's the lesbian that was married to Geraldine Lassiter isn't it?" Asked Joel Hughes.

"Yes. That's her." Replied Big Fly.

"What would make you date a woman that gay and how did she turn straight anyway!?" Asked Joel.

"I like gay women Joel. I want these hoes to have a threesome for me like E. Spinna will." Said Big Fly. 

Dating dykes didn't seem like something Big Fly would do either. Since he got exposed for fake streams, and since he lost his brother Big Mosquito and his baby mother Christian Lewis, he's been making alot of weird moves to survive. 

Image of Big Fly and E. Spinna at a go go club 

"My woman takes care of me Joel. She buys me whatever I want. Whether it be clothes, jewelry, shoes- anything, and she can cook her ass off too!" Said Big Fly, while laughing.

"Then why do you stay with your father then!?" Asked Joel.

"Because I want my girl to have her space. She said she will buy me a house by the end of the year." Replied Big Fly.

"That's what's up my brother. I'm glad you finally found the right one. Do you think your baby mommas will let you move on?" Asked Joel.

"They don't have a choice Joel. Them bi*ches better do what I say!" Responded Big Fly.

"Didn't your baby mother Alexandria just start a program for victims of gun violence in D.C.?" Asked Joel.

"Yeah yeah yeah. I heard about that little program. It ain't sh*t though. People are still getting shot. Who cares!? And that b*tch started f*cking my old right hand man too. Me and that nigga were like best friends since middle school. I couldn't believe him but that's okay. He wanted to have a fall out over a bi*ch. He makes her happy, so oh well. F*ck that nigga and f*ck my ex-baby mother." Said Big Fly. 

"Are you talking about Big Eight?" Questioned Joel Hughes.

"Yeah Big Eight. He is a stank, horny lil nigga too bro. Perfect for my ex-baby mother." Said Big Fly, while laughing.

"That's the end of today's podcast guys. Stay tuned for more exclusive videos and make sure you like, comment, and subscribe to my channel." Said Joel, while wrapping up the podcast. 

After the podcast went off, I went online to price a BET awards show ticket so I'll know for next year. The tickets were around $7,000. I didn't have it and even if I did, I don't think that attending the BET awards would really be my style. I'm not a crowd person. I'm a victim of too much emotional incest and rape to want to be around a crowd of people. 

I was hoping my opps would be out enjoying their lives, but they spend so much time biting me, pestering me, and hating on me, that they would rather put their lives on hold just to do that. It's sickening if you ask me. I spent all day at the campsite, lounging around and hiding from yucky, gay, incest people that tell lies on me and defame me. It's a lot of them. It's like attracting roaches and rats non stop. It's filthy. I ate chicken and rice for dinner and then fed Big C and then went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up, and someone had sent me an anonymous threat that read, 

We're still not letting you go tard. You're ours forever. You'll never be able to get away from us! We all have a right to have your whole body, mind, and life! You're a nobody Ed, and you never will be us.

In the NC woods, hiding out from the large infestation of heartless, gross, incest people 

I ignored the gross incest and went on about my day, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. I had already ran away and hid. I then started watching another postcast. It was the Devil's Universe.

"Guys Geraldine Lassiter contracted monkeypox earlier today, and then flew back to Los Angeles to  Travis Rosenberg's porn company. Lassiter stopped taking testosterone, and turn back into a female. She lured Travis into letting her come back, by mourning for Vannessa Rosenberg- an eyelash specialist that used to work for Geraldine when she owned several eyelash salons. Vannessa Rosenberg, is Travis's cousin. Travis fell for it, and contracted monkeypox from Geraldine after sleeping with her in their new porn flick "New Mack City". Reported Jeong Ji-Su. 

Jeong Ji-Su and Dustin Moore 

"Geraldine was not showing any symptoms of the disease, nor did she have any visible lesions when she passed the virus onto Travis and several other men and women that were in the film. DaVoucci-Rosenberg Productions company was shut down temporarily due to the outbreak." Stated Dustin Moore.

"I know that Travis is angry because he shouldn't have taken Geraldine back. We tried to reach out to Travis, but after several attempts, we gave up because he wouldn't speak to us." Stated Jeong Ji-Su.

"You're right. I know that brother is extremely mad. Not only that, but Geraldine's deceased body was found in the California desert, hours after the porn studio shut down. Her cause of death- dehydration and hyperthermia. Geraldine's vehicle was found a few miles away from her body." Reported Dustin.

That didn't even sound right. Geraldine didn't seem like the type of person that would venture out into a hot desert alone. I turned to several more channels and Geraldine wasn't on there. I turned to a gay channel called Black Lesbos Unite, and she was on there. 

Kristina Cums, speaking on Geraldine Lassiter's death 

"Today we're mourning for our friend Geraldine Lassiter. She was a business woman, an entrepreneur, an adult porn star, and an LGBTQ activist. She will always be loved by our community, and she will never be forgotten." Said a dyke on the channel named Kristina Cums, another adult porn star.

Welp. That was the end of Geraldine Lassiter's gay lesbian ass. These lesbians are stank out here, I thought to myself. All they do is molest each other and then sexually harass, and stalk vulnerable single, straight, women that don't want any of their stinky gay fish. I'm not taking up for other single women, I'm just saying- that's how sickening these narcissistic lesbians in America treat me personally. 

I fixed a glass of tea and then went for a jog around the park. Geraldine Lassiter's death was surely needed. That's one less evil dyke walking the planet, and less monkeypox being spread. 

I also realized that I have to watch out for niggas like Travis Rosenberg and Big Fly. They pretend to be straight men, but they keep humping lesbian women. I don't want to share any man with a bunch of dykes. The sex feels too damn gay and stinky. It feels almost as if I'm sleeping with the actual dykes, and not the man. Sex with men that sleep with gay women, doesn't feel the least bit natural to me. I'm not gay, and I don't want those type of men confusing me for a gay person.