What It's Like Surviving The Gay Community As A Straight Single Black Woman and Movie Review
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Three days ago, I wrote about how I'm suffering from Anhedonia - the inability to feel pleasure. Well guess what, I still have it. I remember when I first found out what it was, which was about a year ago, when I was online searching for fun stuff to do and couldn't find anything.
I still can't find anything to do. Most of the activities, outings, and entertainment options that other people find enjoyable, I find to be extremely boring and lame. It's too many evil, sick predators out here, and they suck all of the fun out of every cool hobby that I could possibly imagine doing. I've looked at dozens, if not hundreds of bucket list blogs online, and most of the activities that they post I don't find entertaining, and those activities don't make me happy. I have my own bucket list, but it takes alot of courage, bravery, strength, and energy just to wake up and complete one little goal. I'm always looking over my shoulders for bullies, predators, and flying bullets.
I still have transphobia and I'm still homophobic. That's why I keep getting rejected by the mainstream media. They won't let me speak on my hate for the gay community. I hate the way they look, the way they smell, the way they act, their narcissism, the way they abuse and neglect, the way they try to molest and take, and the way they all cling together. It still grosses me out.
For example, today I decided to watch a movie on Amazon Prime. The first movie I watched was called Becky (2024). It was a movie about a black married couple that moved into a new neighborhood and then a white girl tries to break up their marriage. The movie kind of reminded me of the 2009 film Obsessed. The plot was the same, but fortunately, I made it all the way to the end of the movie. I would give it 4.5 out of 5.
After the Becky movie went off, I decided to watch a BET movie called Sugar Baby (2025). At the beginning of the movie, I felt a ton of pressure. I said to myself "I'm probably not going to like this one. I don't watch BET", but I kept watching it anyway. It was a movie about women finding wealthy rich men and becoming their sugar babies. I made it all the way up until the part where the main character got kicked out of her mother's house after being set up by her mother's boyfriend. Then she moved in with her manager from the restaurant where she worked.
Then there was a scene where the manager met her black rich sugar daddy at a party and she went into a room with him. Two white girls were kissing in the mouth and having sex. Then the black manager joined them. It was funky as hell. I did not want to see that. It was sickening to me. I immediately cut the movie off and preceded to mind my business. I wouldn't even give it a half star. The last thing I want to do, is be in the way of a lesbian orgy. When I see gay scenes in the middle of a movie, I always cut it off. I'm never curious enough to find out the ending.
After I cut the gay movie off, I couldn't find anything else to do. I didn't try to watch another one. I needed to recover from the disgust that I had just witnessed. I ended up moving my bucket list from one app to another. The app I was using at first had too many glitches. The app I'm using now doesn't have glitches but it's private, meaning I can't show off the list. After more searching online for activities in the area, I could find anything that I would want to do. I'm basically not safe anywhere these days. I don't like the bars, the restaurants, the clubs, the museums, the theme parks, the shopping stores, the mainstream events or anything about the area. I've seen alot of things in my life.
I'm only 36 but I've probably seen more during my lifetime than someone who is 86. I feel like I've seen it all. There's really nothing left to see in this world. I just have to take it one day at a time and keep protecting myself from dangerous predators. The most dangerous predators are always the ones that know where I lay my head and can track my movements.
